When Billionaires Attack (Free Speech): Sir Philip’s Very Public Attempt to Gag Parliament

When Billionaires Attack (Free Speech): Sir Philip’s Very Public Attempt to Gag Parliament

Ah, the smell of democracy in the morning — slightly burnt, but still kicking.

In today’s episode of “What On Earth Is That Billionaire Up To?”, we bring you the saga of Sir Philip Green: retail mogul, yacht enthusiast, and now — aspiring free speech terminator.

It all started with a gagging order — or, as billionaires call it, “a minor inconvenience to the truth.” Sir Philip had successfully muzzled the media from linking his name to a bubbling cauldron of workplace misconduct claims. But then came Lord Hain — armed with a pair of functioning vocal cords and parliamentary privilege — who did the unthinkable: he said the name out loud. In Parliament. Gasp.

Cue the legal cavalry.

Sir Philip, ever the champion of transparency (as long as it's about your receipts, not his HR files), galloped off to the European Court of Human Rights. His noble quest? To stop pesky MPs from using Parliament as a platform to speak freely — how dare they! After all, how can a man run a fashion empire if people are allowed to talk?

But alas, the ECHR wasn’t buying what Sir Philip was selling. In a dazzling display of common sense, the judges told him that limiting what MPs can say in Parliament would be — and I quote — “incompatible with the autonomy of the UK Parliament.”

Translation: Sir Philip, mate, Parliament doesn’t work for you.

Lord Hain responded by reminding everyone that he acted “perfectly properly” — which in MP-speak is as close to a mic drop as you’re gonna get. Meanwhile, Sir Philip’s knighthood remains intact (for now), despite being dragged through more mud than a Glastonbury campsite.

So where does that leave us?

On one side, you’ve got free speech, democracy, and the right to call out abuse without being slapped by a super-injunction. On the other, a billionaire who thought Strasbourg might help him take down the very foundation of parliamentary debate.

Spoiler: they didn’t.

Let this be a lesson: You can own shops, superyachts, and offshore accounts… but you don’t own the truth — or Parliament.

Now, if only we could get as many headlines about freedom of expression as we do about celebrity divorces. But I digress.

Free speech: 1. Billionaire privilege: 0.

Blog responsibly, folks — while we still can.