Rule Britannia or Rule the Bin? The War on War Heroes (and Why I Might Need to Fight China Next Week)by Ian Croasdell – Handyman Plus Van, Ex-RAF, and Occasional Ranter

Rule Britannia or Rule the Bin? The War on War Heroes (and Why I Might Need to Fight China Next Week)

by Ian Croasdell – Handyman Plus Van, Ex-RAF, and Occasional Ranter

Ah, Britain. The land of warm beer, cold weather, and lukewarm loyalty to its veterans.

Good Friday, apparently not good enough for a thousand ex-soldiers who had to fire up their Harleys, slap on their medals, and form the slowest protest since Liz Truss’s political career. Yep, I’m talking about the Rolling Thunder ride through Westminster – a parade of military pride, polished boots, and a collective middle finger to Keir Starmer’s latest move: scrapping the legal protections for those of us who served during the Troubles.

Let me be clear: I, Ian Croasdell, handyman, van-man, and proud former RAF serviceman, didn’t sign up thinking one day I'd need to ride into Westminster just to remind the Government I’m not a criminal. Yet here we are.

Apparently, when you're 70+ with dodgy knees and a hero’s medal, you're just the right kind of suspect for historical witch hunts. It's like Deal or No Deal, except the banker’s Sinn Féin and the only thing in your box is a subpoena.

But don’t worry, says the Government – they still “recognise our service” and want to keep some parts of the Legacy Act. Oh, thanks, chaps. That’s like a burglar robbing your house and offering to mow your lawn.

It gets better: while they’re trying to haul 80-year-old British veterans into courtrooms with Zimmer frames and hearing aids, Gerry flipping Adams might get taxpayer-funded compensation. I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or invoice Parliament for emotional trauma and lost faith in humanity. (I'll even throw in a discount for same-day handyman work.)

This whole saga is proof that the Government’s moral compass is about as reliable as a sat nav in a Welsh valley.

We’re the country that trained young men – like me – to serve, follow orders, and go where we were told. And now? We’re treating veterans like villains in a crime drama no one asked for. What’s next? Sending World War II veterans to The Hague because they scared a Nazi too aggressively?

Let’s be honest: the only immunity the Government believes in these days is political immunity – not the kind you give to your own soldiers after decades of loyal service.

And look, I’m no conspiracy theorist (okay, maybe a little), but with China beefing up and half of Europe starting to twitch, are we seriously going to throw our veterans under the bus when we might need them (or their wisdom) next week?

I’m just a handyman now, but if things keep going like this, don’t be surprised if I’m handed a rusty bayonet and told to "nip over to Taiwan." Spoiler alert: I’m not running – unless it’s to the kettle for a brew.

Final thought:

If you're going to ask young men and women to put on a uniform, fight in conflicts you sign off on, and carry the burden of violence so others don’t have to, the very least you can do is not prosecute them half a century later when they’re trying to enjoy their bloody retirement.

Protect our war heroes. Or soon, we’ll be fighting enemies and our own bloody government.