The Internet: Brought to You by the Military... and Still Monitored by the Same Folks

The Internet: Brought to You by the Military... and Still Monitored by the Same Folks

Ah, the internet. That magical web of cat memes, conspiracy theories, unsolicited opinions, and an infinite stream of food pics nobody asked for. But before we dive into our latest social media doomscroll, let’s take a moment to appreciate where it all began… in a top-secret lab, under the watchful gaze of Uncle Sam’s finest military minds.

Yes, dear reader, the internet wasn’t born in your mum’s garage with a dial-up modem that sounded like R2-D2 having a breakdown. No, it was born in the sterile, fluorescent-lit halls of the U.S. Department of Defense. That’s right—ARPANET, the OG of the internet, was the military’s idea of staying “connected,” long before Zoom calls and TikTok dances ruined our attention spans.

And guess what? Just because we now use the internet to watch hamsters ride miniature skateboards doesn’t mean the military ever let go of the reins. They built it, after all. And if you build the digital playground, don’t you get to decide who swings, who slides, and who gets pushed off the climbing frame?

Fast-forward to 2025:

Social media is everywhere. Your mum’s sharing Minion memes. Your uncle’s fighting strangers in Facebook comments. And your niece has more followers than sense. But behind the scenes, algorithms are playing puppet masters with precision. Posts get boosted, buried, or vaporized based on a set of rules we’ll never see. (Unless you work in a three-letter agency with a badge and a black coffee addiction.)

Imagine a world where your feed isn’t showing you what you like, but what they want you to like. A world where your innocent post about your dog in a Halloween costume mysteriously vanishes because it dared include a pumpkin that resembled an upside-down globe—triggering the “flat Earth” filter.

So next time your spicy hot take gets no traction while a guy reviewing forks goes viral, just remember: the military might still be lurking behind the curtain, whispering, “Not today, civilian.”

Stay curious, stay sarcastic, and most importantly—clear your cookies.