When IKEA Builds Homes: The Flat-Pack Flats That Couldn’t Survive a Storm
Ah, Worthing—a lovely seaside town known for its pebble beaches, retirees, and now, a brand-new block of flats that collapsed faster than my will to assemble IKEA furniture without crying.
Yes, you heard that right. A newly built apartment block is being dismantled before anyone even got a chance to live in it—because it turns out, it wasn’t just a house made with Swedish precision, but also with Swedish flat-pack engineering.
Some Assembly Required… Apparently Forever
The doomed building, part of a five-block “flat-pack” development by BoKlok UK (owned by IKEA and construction giant Skanska), was no match for the UK's winter weather. According to a spokesperson, high winds and storms destroyed it before they could even finish putting the roof on.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a house so structurally questionable that a gust of wind could send it back to the blueprint phase.
BoKlok’s response? “The quality of our homes as well as the safety and wellbeing of our customers is our highest priority.”
Which is hilarious, because apparently, the roof wasn’t their highest priority—otherwise, it wouldn’t have been sitting there, unfinished, waiting for a storm to roll through like the Big Bad Wolf.
The ‘Sustainable’ Demolition
But don’t worry—this isn’t just an embarrassing construction failure, it’s also a great opportunity for sustainability!
BoKlok has assured us that 95% of the materials from the dismantled building will be recycled.
Translation: They’re just taking it apart and trying again.
Wouldn’t it be more sustainable to, I don’t know, build something that doesn’t collapse in the first place?
The Future of Flat-Pack Housing?
Let’s face it—this is every millennial’s worst nightmare come to life.
We’ve spent years assembling IKEA wardrobes with tiny Allen keys, only to be told that now our homes are being built the same way—and apparently, with the same structural integrity.
So what’s next?
🔹 Self-assembly housing kits? (“Congratulations! Your mortgage includes an Allen key and 600 unlabeled parts. Happy building!”)
🔹 ‘Minimalist’ homes that are just four walls and a single meatball for dinner?
🔹 Modular homes that require a tiny Swedish instruction manual just to find the bathroom?
Final Thoughts: Some Things Shouldn’t Be Flat-Pack
Look, prefabricated housing isn’t a bad idea in theory—but if the first major storm of the season can wipe out your new-build, maybe it’s time to go back to the drawing board.
So, congratulations to Worthing’s latest architectural disaster! While the rest of us are struggling to even afford a home, at least we can sleep soundly knowing that some people technically own properties that don’t even exist anymore.
IKEA may have perfected the art of cheap furniture, but maybe, just maybe, they should leave housebuilding to the professionals. 🏡😂
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