Labour Party Deportation Scheme: A Common-Sense Immigration Solution?

Labour Party Deportation Scheme: A Common-Sense Immigration Solution?

In a shocking turn of events, the government has finally listened to the will of the people and introduced a groundbreaking deportation policy: not for illegal migrants, mind you, but for the Labour Party. Yes, following the recent Home Office footage of migrants being escorted onto planes with military precision, concerned citizens are now wondering—if we can do this for migrants, why not politicians?

A Bold and Necessary Move

According to renowned policy experts (Twitter users with anonymous accounts), deporting Labour MPs would solve multiple national crises at once: inflation, energy prices, potholes, and—most importantly—the rising cost of Greggs sausage rolls.

It makes perfect sense. After all, if a group of people enters a country through legally established processes (such as elections) but then wreaks havoc on infrastructure, taxation, and public confidence, shouldn’t they be treated as undesirable arrivals? Denmark, the great beacon of social democracy, has a zero-net migration policy—why not a zero-net Labour policy?

Logistics of the Labour Deportation Scheme

Under this proposal, Labour MPs would be rounded up by five security guards each (matching the current migrant deportation standard) and escorted onto planes bound for a European destination—preferably one with high taxes and a penchant for bureaucratic overreach.

Critics argue that many Labour MPs would simply return via commercial flights, but that could be solved by a strict "airport-only migration" policy. If they attempt to return by dinghy, well, everyone knows that’s illegal.

The Question of Human Rights

Some bleeding-heart liberals have pointed out that mass deportations of politicians might infringe on human rights. But as the comments section of major newspapers will tell you, the only human rights that matter are those of the law-abiding, hard-working taxpayer. And if we’re being honest, how many Labour MPs fit that description?

What Happens Next?

If successful, this plan could be expanded to include other categories of high-risk individuals: career bureaucrats, Guardian columnists, and anyone who refers to themselves as a “policy advisor.”

In summary, the Labour Deportation Scheme is a win-win. The government gets to appear tough on unwanted migration, airports remain the only legal entry points, and the UK’s political landscape gets a much-needed deep clean.

As for where these MPs should be sent, we hear Denmark has some vacancies.