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Work Harder, Slave Faster: Inflation Will Take Care of the Rest

Imagine it:
You wake up every morning for 50 years.
You hustle.
You grind.
You sit through endless Zoom calls about "synergy."
You attend meetings that could’ve been emails.
You pretend to laugh at your boss’s jokes.
You spend decades saving up your hard-earned wages, tucking them away in your little nest egg.

And just when you think you’re ready to finally enjoy it — BAM!
The Fed hits “Print” like it’s CTRL+P at a broken office copier.

In the greatest magic trick of the modern era, 40% of all money in existence appears out of thin air... and just like that, 20 years of your life's work vanish faster than your will to live during a Monday morning meeting.

Congratulations!
You didn’t just work for retirement — you worked for the pleasure of being financially mugged by a system that prints cash like it’s confetti at a clown funeral.

But hey, don’t worry!

The important thing is you were responsible.
You bought the sensible hatchback.
You packed your lunch instead of buying Pret sandwiches.
You said “no” to avocado toast so you could “build wealth.”

And now?
You can proudly look at your life savings — now worth about three Tesco meal deals and a pint of milk — and say,
“Wow. What an honour to be part of this grand economic experiment.”

Some Hot Tips for Surviving the Great Inflation Vanish:

• Learn to love beans on toast. They’ll be gourmet food soon.
• Invest in assets that the Fed can't print. (Hint: "Hope" is not one of them.)
• Practice smiling while crying internally. It's basically the national sport now.
• Maybe start a side hustle. You know, just in case working nine-to-five wasn't soul-crushing enough.

Final Thought:

Next time someone says,
"Hard work always pays off!"
just smile, give a thumbs up like our retro flamingo-shirted friend... and start Googling “how to build a bunker out of empty crisp packets.”

Cheers to working harder while getting poorer!